German Royalty Can Be Bought

It be a good guess to say that I’m probably not the only one out there in the world that clicks the TV to mute (or off) when modern newscasters drone on about what England’s new duchess is wearing. But, it did get me to thinking that merry ol’ England doesn’t have the monopoly on the monarchy.

Germany too was a hodge-podge of kingdoms and dukedoms, and they certainly weren’t without scandal (as is the modern day English monarchy). Sorry, Elizabeth, I ain’t judging — I’m just saying. ;-)

What’s really funny (and I mean REALLY funny) is ordinary common folk also have their fair share of scandals. It just doesn’t so happen to make the tabloids or CNN. Most of the time.

So, if you’re scandal bound; why not add a real German noble title to your name?

No, I’m not kidding. With a few clicks of the mouse & a hundred bucks (or two), you can buy yourself the designation of a German noble title — such as Herzog (that’s a Duke) or Fürst (Prince).

Alright, the titles you buy might be only to the micronation of Pomerania and Livonia, but it might be fun to make all the people who think you’re a “Nobody” call you Freiherr (Baron) John Doe.

It’s downright hilarious. What? Am I the only person to find the humor in this?

What wasn’t funny when it comes to titles of the nobility is the case of Caroline of Brunswick. Oh, she was a lady of German noble blood who went on to become a Queen of England at the turn of the 17th century.

Sort of.

Her husband, King George IV of England, was illegally married to his mistress prior to Caroline. Their tumultuous relationship was chocked full of gossip, adultery, and scandal. Hmm, you mean these aren’t just modern day problems?

Anyway, Caroline was so despised by her hubby that he had her turned away at the doors of Westminster Abbey for the coronation — and those loyal to the king referred to her as just a simple Duchess. Oh, a snub to a proper queen, don’t you think?

For us mere mortals, I wouldn’t be offended if someone called me just a Graf (that’s a Count).

Once you buy your coveted German title, I wouldn’t worry too much about an assassination attempt like the Archduke Franz Ferdinand (in line for the throne of the Austro-Hungarian Empire), whose death kickstarted World War I.

Wheww, that’s a relief — ’cause I’m about to go get me a title (just kidding).

And if you’re interested in hearing more scandalous stories in German history, let me know — there are PLENTY. ;-)